Monday, December 1, 2008

Croom and Nurishment

Amidst the hoopla surrounding both turkey and wounded legs this Thanksgiving weekend, I was disheartened to hear that Sylvester Croom decided to step down from Mississippi State. Aside from becoming the first black coach in a conference linked to civil injustice and winning SEC coach of the year honors last season, he has the coolest f-cking name in football and I will miss hearing even the slightest reference to him next season.  I hope he lands a studio gig where he can analyze clips of Miss State getting rolled on by Vanderbilt. 

Here are my tryptophan induced thoughts on the games I watched this weekend:

1.  There was no joy in Tuberville as the Tigers got shut out.  Terrible, but you get the point. For a team that plays in the Iron Bowl, Auburn's offense is anemic. John Parker Wilson could have done one-a-days all week and still could have put up enough points to win comfortably. This was a team that didn't have room for Brandon Jacobs a few years ago, now they could only put up 170 total yards in their showcase game of the season. Tuberville can look for answers all he wants, but letting his OC go in the middle of the year literally back fired on him.  He will need more than a Tide roll to get that stain off his record.

2.  South Carolina may be the most unwatchable team this year and I am including the entire roster of  WNBA franchises.  "Sorry, I know you want to see that replay of Smelley's third interception, but the Storm is playing on Oxygen and Sue Bird just laid in a unnecessarily colored basketball." 

In what amounted to a Dabo Sweeney strokefest at the hands of ESPN 2 announcers Eric Collins and David Norrie, Clemson also happened to blow out the Gamecocks 31-14 (incidentally, this may have been the first time Collins has seen college football as he referred to Clemson's CJ Spiller as the nation's best running back in the open field).   The game ended as soon as Smelley took a snap, but it was officially over when James Davis scored from 20 yards out to make it a 24-0 game.  After the Davis touchdown, Spurrier was heard on the sideline asking alound "he ran that how fast?"  I usually enjoy seeing the Ole Ball Coach, however during this telecast, my remote emanated more clicks than clacks (the sound of putting it down, I suppose).

3. Although it undoubtedly earned the seething ire of very small, yet insignificant demographics, I am glad the VS Network decided to preempt its usual fare of bull riding and NHL hockey to telecast the Baylor-Texas Tech game.  Although he didn't have the services of Grab-tree, Graham Harrell played as well as any system quarterback could have by completing over 80% of his passes.  This game was closer than it should have been and you could sense that the home Tech crowds sat on pins and needles throughout the entire contest.  Incidentally, those pins and needles were later placed in Harrell's left hand to repair two shattered fingers. He'll need those to hold a clip board on Sunday's next year and change the Madden 2010 depth chart of whatever team he lands on.

4. That Florida-Florida State game was an unenjoyable mess.  Between the on-field conditions and its uncompetitive nature, I stopped watching the at the end of the 1st half.  The Seminoles seemingly embraced the spirit of their Native American namesake as you couldn't even tell they were there by the time they left the field.  Aside from Tebow looking like a Tarantino character, the enduring image of this game was Percy Harvin laying on the ground grabbing his ankle, though in a style unlike Marcellus Wallace.  What impact his injury will inevitably is unknown, however I have a feeling Saban will be grinning like an Inglorious Bastard at the end of this Saturday's SEC Championship game.

5. Even though Oklahoma State posted Mike Gundy's age on the scoreboard, it still wasn't enough to top the Sooners, who put up 61 style points of their own.  This was enough to impress the BCS computers that prefer five consecutive Oklahoma blowouts to a 45-35 head-to-head neutral site outcome.  They are obviously PCs and not Macks. 


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