Recruiting Links

So, like me, you're all probably frantically checking your team's blogs, message boards, and debating whether to pay for services like Rivals to get daily updates on your team's 2009 recruiting class. Coaches are making their final pitches before National Signing Day, which with verbal committments, decommittments, and RichRod's "snake oil," is slowly turning into a day with as much drama as the first round of the NFL Draft. While I am not one of those people who is going to take off work to watching signing day on ESPNU (cough cough, Hoogs' employers), I am following closely to see if Michigan holds onto DT Pearlie Graves, or can pick up "atheletic" QB Denard Robinson or speedy WR Je'Ron Stokes.

This also leads to the annual debate amongst the media of how important National Signing Day really is. What matters more at the college level, coaching or talent? And just how reliable is high school/all star game film and analysis in judging who will translate into a great player at the D1 level? Personally, I'm very conflicted on NSD, so I will spare you from most of the columns on the merits of NSD, at least for now. Instead, Scout did a great piece on looking back at the 5 star "Can't Miss" recruits of the class of 2005. Out of the top 50, there were a lot of sucesses. Naturally, there were also even more misses. Stewart Mandel did a similar piece on just the Top 25 QB recruits of 2005. Interesting stuff, and puts NSD in perspective both in its importance (how did LSU fare this year without a stud QB?) and its insignificance (FSU did not exactly light it up with all those prospects).

Another interesting development coming through is that new Washington coach Steve Sarkisian has been caught committing his second recruiting violation by the UW Athletic Department. This is just impressive if it's true. He's only been on the job, what, three months? And already he's broken the rules twice at a school that is still bitter about that whole Rick Nehuisal fiasco? While it is certainly too early to make any real judgements, my immediate reaction is that this draws a fair amount of light onto the recruiting tactics at USC. There have been rumors for years, bascially since Reggie Bush emerged as an elite player and Matt Leinhart moved in with Nick Lachey to help him recover from "Newlyweds" getting cancelled by MTV, that USC has been invovled in shady recruiting strategies. If one of your top recruiters is already cheating at his new job, what does that say about the way he was taught to recruit at his previous job? Personally, this just adds more smoke surrounding USC and makes me think much less of Sarkisian as a coach and a person.

Ari Gold Lives!

I recieved this email a little over a month ago from a close friend in Richmond. She is from Alabama-crazed family, and two years ago passed on an internet rumor about the hiring of Nick Saban that was fantastic (it summarized what actually went on behind close doors in Tuscaloosa and Miami to bring Saban back to the SEC). In December, she sent me this email, containing details of what supposedly went on behind the scenes at Auburn that led to Tommy Tuberville quitting and Gene Chizik taking over War Eagle. Here is the text:

"I got these facts from a buddy of mine who is not in the habit of telling tall tales. I'll just call him "Benny". Here's the tale:

Some Auburn relatives were over this past weekend, some of whom are fairly well connected to the program at Auburn and their boosters. The night Alabama drilled Auburn 36-0, a prominent Auburn booster (not the usual bank-owning one but one who sells pressure-treated wood and wears a yellow hat) made a phone call. This may have been a $5.1 million phone call. Since he knows most of the SEC coaches on a first-name basis and shoots ads with many of them, he has their personal private phone numbers. So he calls Houston Nutt over in Mississippi and asks what it might take to have Houston change his address again to Auburn. Apparently, Auburn has a nasty habit of stealing coaches from Ole Miss, but Nutt tells old Yella Fella that he can't take the hit on the credibility scale right now for that kind of move, but thanks.

What many people may not know or may have forgotten is the infamous "Jet Gate" scandal. That was where Bobby Lowder boarded a jet and flew to Louisville to offer then Head Coach Bobby Petrino the head coaching job at Auburn. Trouble was, Auburn had a head coach who was doing a fairly good job and when word leaked out, the fans and much of administration rallied so strongly that Tuberville was bulletproof. He was now able to snub his nose to Lowder, Pat Dye, and the administration-and boosters that wanted him gone. These were not men who took a snubbing well. They bade their time until they felt the fans would no longer be a factor. Surely Auburn missing a bowl game, being drilled by Alabama, and the whole Tony Franklin fiasco took all the aces out of Tuberville's hand.

Now here's where it gets interesting. Following "Jet Gate", Tommy had a Unique non-interference clause put in his last contract. Auburn pledged that neither the school president nor athletics director or anyone acting under their authority "shall discuss or negotiate directly or indirectly Auburn's prospective employment of any other person as Head Football Coach of Auburn" without giving Tuberville prior notice. In non-lawyerese, it basically means that if Auburn got caught monkeying Around with a new coach behind Tommy's back again he gets paid-a lot. Unfortunately for Auburn, Nutt's agent is Jimmy Sexton and that just happens to be Tuberville's agent too. Nutt drops this little nugget to Sexton and Tommy walks in the following Monday discussing his intentions to resign and wants his money now that he knows his contract has been breached. Now Tuberville can get the money AND leave and coach elsewhere, in effect getting double pay for the next three years! A nice retirement package indeed. Plus, he gets to have the last laugh and snub the backstabbers one more time. So maybe Auburn was right, maybe Tuberville really did resign. Why wouldn't he? Multi-day discussions ensued, and I'm sure there were lawyers involved. I'm sure it was painfully explained that old Yella Fella could and would be legally held to be an "official booster" much to the dismay of Auburn and the bad boy boosters. In the end, we see Tuberville's official resignation on December 3 and Auburn paying him the buyout anyway because according to Auburn, it "is the right thing to do." Yes, it's the right thing under the contract. Otherwise, who pays buyouts for resignations, right?

Now, guess who Gene Chizik's agent is? Ding Ding Ding! You are right if you guessed Jimmy Sexton. Now, how does Auburn keep "Jet Gate II" from hitting the front of ESPN in an embarrassing manner? The fans would simply go mad. Hmmm, perhaps by hiring a Sexton client who needs to get out of his Personal football coaching hell known as Iowa State? How else is he going to go Anywhere with that 5-19 record? So, Tuberville walks away with $5.1 million and change and the right to Sign another big contract with another team, Nutt gets a nice salary bump and An extension when Ole Miss gets wind of their coach being dangled some bait, and Chiznik gets a big salary increase and a chance from jump a sinking ship into a head coaching job at a big time SEC school. And Sexton makes almost a million dollars in new commissions off the three new deals.

This seems to explain the inexplicable way in which this all went down. Will we ever know? Not until Jimmy Sexton writes his tell all book, "Tales of the Super Sports Agent." But it's the best version I've heard so far."

Like the email ends, we will probably never know if this is true or not. But regardless, I have learned an important lesson from this email: Jimmy Sexton, you are my new agent. I have never read something so outlandish as to make Ari Gold look like a hack, but honestly, this guy has to be amazing at his job. He swindles three new contracts in the span of two weeks, all based on one phone call that he wasn't even a part of? I swear to god, if he shouts hysterical lines like "Gotta run, it's anal sex night at the Gold House" or "Well, what is it you're supposed to know, do you think? What the fuck do we pay you for? To get your agency card laminated so you can go to Shelter and try to fuck Mischa Barton?," then I will give him half of my astounding salary. Yeah, I'm a teacher. But after I show up next spring with Jimmy "I'm a God Among Men" Sexton, I'll be the highest f-ing paid teacher in the country.

Tired of Crashing the Party?

Sometimes, you realize that you aren't Vince Vaughn. No matter how smooth you are, you will not be a "Wedding Crasher." Maybe once you can pull it off, but at some point, you might as well get invited to the party if you really want to have fun. This is why I'm not particularly surprised to read that the Mountain West is petitioning the BCS for an automatic bid to the major bowls next season.

While I have no doubt that this will not happen, it's a very intriguing idea that I think could work in the long run. After all, we've seen Utah, Boise State, and Utah again all win BCS bowl games against BCS apponents in the past five years, and TCU has shown that under Gary Patterson it can compete with most teams in the nation. What we have to be careful about, as Stewart Mandel points out to SEC lovers and Big 10 haters constantly in his mailbags, is that conference dominance is cyclical. 5 years is a small window to justify admittance into the BCS-- are they on a good run or are they a permanent power in college football?

Personally, I think that the Mountain West is showing the potential to be a decade to decade power in the future. What stands out to me most is that both Utah and TCU have given their coaches million plus dollar a year contracts to stay away from the recent high profile job openings. It shows that the schools in this conference are on good ground financially (well, for now) and are committed to creating legitimate programs.

If I was the BCS, I would tell the Mountain West not now, but that they will be allowed an automatic bid if they get Boise State to join the conference. That would give the Mountain West three legitimate top 25 teams with talented coaches. It would head off most of the complaints from non-BCS teams looking for an at-large birth every year, while still leaving 3 at-large births for the second place teams in the SEC, Big 12, Big 10, and, well, let's be honest there isn't going to be a second team from the Pac 10, Big East or ACC anytime soon. Sorry, Pac 10, Washington State isn't quite there yet. They could guarantee the winner go to the Fiesta Bowl every year as well, that way it would be easy for the Mountain West champion to sell it's allotted seats. While not a good idea for 2010, it would make sense for the BCS and the Mountain West (plus Boise State) in the future.

ED: I forgot to also include BYU, who has a national title in the modern era and it's own talented coach in Bronco Mendenhall, and regular bowl qualifiers in Air Force and Colorado State. I apologize for leaving them out, but they only further support my claim that the Mountain West is legit and only one team away from BCS quality--Brooks

Dreams and a Better Reality

Every couple of months or so, usually when a friend of ours breaks up with a girlfriend/fiance/mistress, the guys in my pledge class bring up our dream vacation: to rent out a fraternity house for a month. It would be a dream for all of us, representing the chance to relive our sophomore year of college with (marginally at best) better game, more income, and complete disregard for social standing since we aren't really students.

Normally, the fantasy centers on renting our old fraternity house to fully re-create the experience. Lately, we have also thought about making this dream even more fantastic. Instead of going back to our small, liberal arts college that we already know is filled with girls too smart to fall for our awful lines like "want to see my DVD collection?," why not rent a place at one of the more notorious party schools? I love my alma mater, but if I'm truly going to try and make my life like the movie "Old School" on this trip, why not do it at Arizona or Florida State? I love classy women, but let's be honest, the whole point of the fantasy is I can become friends with a guy like Blue and see that even he gets laid. We want skanky women. Like, really skanky. Not Christina Aguilera skanky, I mean like one bad semester in sociology away from porn skanky. So better cross off those two schools, and just go straight to Arizona Sate.

Why do I bring this up? Simple, it's a great dream. It would be an amazing month. But I'm also realistic, career driven, and 26 years old. It won't happen. Even if it did happen, I'm willing to bet all those 19 year old coeds wouldn't be impressed that we quit our jobs and blew our savings on one month in academic Gomorrah. More likely, they'd say, "Get away from me, perv, I'm only into sweet guys that have classy barb wire tatoos and wear Affliction shirts. PS- you're old and gross. OMG LOL LMAO!" Oh well, screw her. None of us wanted chlamydia anyway.

The sportswriters, bloggers, and casual football fans that talk about a "playoff" every year need to talk a look at what I've written, because my month as a Frat Guy is eerily similar to the dream of a college football playoff. First of all, it won't happen. There's too much money out there in the bowl system so a playoff won't make fiscal sense (And if you think it does, fine, show me the TV network willing to cut the BCS a check for $800 million to have a playoff. That's what the current Rose Bowl deal is ($300 mil) and the new BCS deal ($500 mil) is worth. Yeah, not seeing a lot of hands going up to top that number). Even if it did happen, like my dream, it probably won't work out the way you want it to. You'll have crappy teams that aren't intriguing in the National Title game, like George Mason in the Final Four. Oh yeah, what a great story, George Mason was awesome, which is why the ratings actually went down for the Final Four that year.

So, with that being said, I think the BCS does need some changes to enhance the sport. In my opinion, here are four changes that would make the BCS and college football better.

1. Stop Counting of 1-AA Games-- This is one of the most infuriating parts of college football. I hate watching Ohio State play Youngstown State, Florida play the Citadel, or Georgia playing Georgia State. They are stupid. Yes, App State once beat Michigan. That's one win in what, 1,000 games? It's ridiculous that the BCS counts these games, especially late in the season. What they should tell teams is that you are more than welcome to play these teams, but they will not factor into their rankings. Florida went 12-1 this year, but it would only count as 11-1 due to their win against The Citadel (Apparently, VMI was previously scheduled and unwilling to fly out of the Roanoke Airport). It would make the schedules better and enhance the competitiveness of the sport week to week.

2. Mandate Legitimate Match Ups-- Speaking of scheduling, let's take this one step further. I would love to see the BCS require every team in the BCS conferences to schedule one opponent from another BCS conference. Too many coaches take cupcake non-conference games to get bowl eligible-- I'm looking you as an alum, Indiana. Think how much attention the USC-Ohio State and Texas-Ohio State games in recent years have drawn. These games are awesome to watch early on and get people into the season from the start. They will also make the bowls better, since bowl managers will have a better idea of how the conferences stack up and they can choose better match ups. A lot of schools like USC, Ohio State, Texas, and Michigan do this already, but let's get every school on board.

Quick caveat: Notre Dame would count as a BCS game for teams like Michigan State, Michigan, and USC that play them every year.

3. Standardize the Conference Championship Game-- This whole idea that three conferences play one extra game, while the other three do not is stupid. Either all 6 BCS conferences should play the 13th game, or no one should. It's unfair that the Big 12, SEC, and perhaps someday the ACC, have to win an extra game to qualify for the National Title game. Likewise, since the NCAA restricts the number of practices a team can have between the end of the season and the bowl, it's unfair for teams in the Big 10 to have to wait an extra two weeks for their bowl to start each year. If everyone plays the same number of games and ends the same weekend, it will again generate more interest in the sport at the end of the year and make the bowl games more competitive.

I'm interested to hear what tweaks to the system you all would like to see. If you want to turn this into a playoff debate, that's fine, but you might as well argue which Hollywood star you like to have sex with more. I'm not going to judge your fantasies

Preseason Rankings Releases

The following is courtesy of Rivals.com and has not been approved by the Utah State Supreme Court:


1. Florida The buzz: Quarterback Tim Tebow's return – and the return of the entire defensive two-deep – means the Gators will head into the season at the top of the polls.

2. Texas The buzz: Quarterback Colt McCoy will be at the controls of what should be a powerful offense. And the Longhorns should have the best defense in the Big 12, too.

3. Oklahoma The buzz: Quarterback Sam Bradford, TE Jermaine Gresham, OT Trent Williams and DT Gerald McCoy return, which is good news for coach Bob Stoops. But the Sooners must replace four starters on the offensive line.

4. USC The buzz: Mark Sanchez's departure causes at least a little bit of concern about the offense. But the defense should be mighty stout again.

5. LSU The buzz: Brandon LaFell's decision to stay in school is a boost for the offense, and a revamped defensive coaching staff should get better results. The line, especially, must play better.

6. Virginia Tech The buzz: The Hokies look to be the class of the ACC. As usual, the defense will lead the way. Quarterback Tyrod Taylor must become a better passer.

7. Ohio State The buzz: The early loss of tailback Chris Wells hurts, and the back seven on defense must be rebuilt. The good news is that quarterback Terrelle Pryor will be going into his second season as the starter.

8. Alabama The buzz: The Tide need to find a new quarterback and have some work to do on the offensive line. But the defense will be strong again, and there will be better depth across the board.

9. Boise State The buzz: The Broncos have a legit chance to go unbeaten if they can win at home against Oregon in September. Quarterback Kellen Moore should post big numbers.

10. Oklahoma State The buzz: The offense will be fine behind quarterback Zac Robinson, tailback Kendall Hunter and wide receiver Dez Bryant. The defense needs work, though, and it's up to new coordinator Bill Young to make that unit a lot better.

11. Georgia Tech The buzz: It'll be the second year for the Yellow Jackets in coach Paul Johnson's offense, which could mean big numbers. Rebuilding the front four is the No. 1 priority on defense.

12. Ole Miss The buzz: Quarterback Jevan Snead heads what should be a potent offense. The defense was underrated nationally, and most of the key guys return. If defensive end Greg Hardy can stay healthy and out of the doghouse, he could have a monster senior season.

13. California The buzz: The Golden Bears could have some issues at linebacker. But tailback Jahvid Best has a legitimate chance to lead the nation in rushing, and the passing attack should be improved as well.

14. Florida State The buzz: After a few seasons as the weak link, the offensive line actually could be a team strength. Quarterback Christian Ponder needs to improve as a passer, and some playmakers must emerge on defense.

15. Penn State The buzz: The Nittany Lions will have to rebuild their offensive and defensive lines, their secondary and their receiving corps. At least quarterback Daryll Clark and tailback Evan Royster return, and linebacker Sean Lee is expected back from an injury that cost him the 2008 season.

16. Kansas The buzz: The Jayhawks look as if they will be the best team in the Big 12 North. Quarterback Todd Reesing and wide receiver Desmond Briscoe should form a potent passing duo. The defense will be fine if three new starting linebackers emerge.

17. Oregon The buzz: The Ducks lose their best linemen on both sides of the ball and the secondary needs some work. But the offense should again provide a lot of points.

18. Georgia The buzz: The Bulldogs lost three key players early – quarterback Matthew Stafford, running back Knowshon Moreno and cornerback Asher Allen. Still, this is a program with a lot of talent, and the three defections mean the Bulldogs might actually be under the radar a bit this fall.

19. Iowa The buzz: Star running back Shonn Greene is gone, but the Hawkeyes still will be a run-oriented team, thanks to a solid line. The defense should be fine.

20. TCU The buzz: The Horned Frogs need to replace more than half of their starting defense, but it has gotten to the point where coordinator Dick Bumpas can plug in a new guy and not worry that much. The offense needs to be a bit more dynamic.

21. USF The buzz: With Pitt losing star running back LeSean McCoy to the NFL, the Bulls should go into the season as the preseason favorite in the Big East. Quarterback Matt Grothe must develop some consistency; it would help his cause if a feature back emerges.

22. Utah The buzz: The Utes lost two key defenders to the draft – end Paul Kruger and cornerback Sean Smith. Quarterback Brian Johnson and both coordinators are gone, too. Still, the defense will be a strength and the running game should be strong. But to expect another undefeated season is asking way too much.

23. Notre Dame The buzz: The schedule isn't that taxing, the passing attack should be quite good and the defense has the makings of a solid unit. There's no doubt that Charlie Weis will be coaching for his job.

24. Oregon StateThe buzz: The Beavers annually seem to be underrated. But with the return of the Rodgers brothers, the offense has two big-time playmakers. The defense should be fine.

25. North Carolina The buzz: The Tar Heels made a big jump this past season in their second year under coach Butch Davis. Expect more improvement in 2009, when the Heels should contend for the ACC title.

Ending the Coaching Carousel

One of the great things about college football is there are four seasons within any calendar year. It starts with Bowl Season around New Years, then you have Recruiting Season on National Signing Day in early February, then the actual season in the fall that we all live for. Finally, at the end of every season but before bowl season, we have the annual circus that revolves around coaches getting fired and coaches leaving jobs. Ironically, the coaching carousel gets fans as worked up as any other part of the season. Last season, it was WVU fans losing it over RichRod leaving for Michigan. This year, we had Lane Kiffin to Tennessee and Gene Chizik to Auburn as the two high profile coaching jobs, along with the drama of whether Charlie Weis would be kept on at Notre Dame. But, then we had BC suddenly enter into this mix last week when coach Jeff Jagodzinski was fired for interviewing with the New York Jets.

Now, I'm not going to blame either side for causing the coaching carousel. In colleges, there is a clear hierarchy. Some schools get better students, some schools get better faculty members. In academia, money follows prestiege in endowment, facilities, and salaries. You'd never fault a professor for leaving his tenured position at Minnesota for a job opening at Harvard, it's clear which job is better. This holds true for coaching jobs as well. BCS schools get better athletes because they have more money and better facilities, so coaches leave jobs in the MAC and CUSA for BCS jobs all the time. Coaches also leave some BCS jobs for the really "big" jobs-- Notre Dame, Michigan, Ohio State, Alabama, Texas, Oklahoma, USC-- because they have the combination of money, history, prestige, facilities and fan bases, or if they leave for the NFL. When coaches jump ship for "bigger" jobs, it's no different than faculty members jumping. It's part of the business, and I don't fault the coaches for jumping from one job to another.

Now, I also don't blame BC AD Gene DeDeFillipo for taking a stand with Jagodzinski. If I was the AD at a school like BC, and I was only two years removed from losing coach Tom O'Brien to a parallel coaching move to NC State, I'd be fed up as well. The thing is, structurally, something has to change in the hiring process to prevent the carousel from staying at the ridiculous levels it's been the past couple of seasons.

Let me tell you a story. My parent's recently got a new kitten named Biscuit, who while adorable, has drawn the ire of our current cat Maizey. Maizey is emotionally fragile, as she was already taking feline anti-depressants (not joking) and had survived a wild dog attack (not joking), so having a new cat did not go over well with her. Biscuit was found in a dumpster, so she's got a bit of street fighter in her as well. Well, one day when my mom came home from work, she found Maizey waiting for her at the door, looking absolutely disgusted. It turns out that Biscuit had grown tired of Maizey's bullying, so she got revenge: she pissed in the cat's communal water dish. It then became a prisoner's dilemma. Both cats were in a contest to see who could piss in the dish first, since neither could trust the other not to do it.

This is what has happened with the coaching business-- it's become a pissing contest. AD's aren't willing to give coaches 5 years anymore to build a program with their own recruits. It's win now or fired (see: RichRod next December if Michigan goes 6-6). With coaches, they want the prestige jobs with big money, and they also know that you may only get one chance to land one of those jobs so they leave as soon as they are offered. The hope on both parts was the "buyouts" in the contract would prevent the carousel. Buyouts are a percentage of the contract that either side has to pay if they leave before the contract ends. RichRod's at WVU was $4.5 mil, so he had to pay it when he left early. Tommy Tuberville's at Auburn was $5.1 for "resigning," which Auburn had to pay for not letting him finish the contract. Good ideas, but obviously it's not working.

So how do we stop the pissing contest? Simple. Guarantee the coaching contracts. Eliminate the buyout and put all the money on the table. If you get fired 3 years into a 5 year, $10 mil contract, the AD owes you a $4 mil check. If a coach pulls a Bobby Petrino and leaves after one year of a 5 year, $15 mil deal, the coach owes the school $12 mil. It makes the economics of the whole thing a lot more realistic. It will force schools to give coaches the chance to actually build a program, while also forcing school to wait for the right promotion, and not to jump at the first one they get out of fear it'll be the only one they get.

Gladwell breaks down the 2008 Longhorns

Malcolm Gladwell, best-selling author of Blink, Tipping Point, Outliers, and -- most recently -- Context: History's Kingmaker, spends a chapter in Context discussing the 2008 Longhorns football team. An excerpt from that chapter is reprinted below.

At first glance, seeing the tradition and resource rich Texas Longhorns ranked in the top five at season's end hardly seems a surprise. Texas under head coach Mack Brown has finished seasons ranked sixth or better five times this decade, won five straight bowl games (including three BCS Bowls), and a national championship. The Longhorns' recruiting classes annually rank among the nation's very best and their training facilities are second to none. Of course they finished ranked in the top five, right? To borrow a famous college football catchphrase: Not so fast my friend.

What if I told you that Texas began the season ranked outside the top ten and was predicted to finish fourth in their conference? Or that they were regrouping under their fifth defensive coordinator in five seasons? What about the fact that the Texas hadn't defeated the lowly Aggies since their superstar QB Vince Young turned pro? Would you still say the 2008 Longhorns were predestined for top five success?

Probably not, and to understand why Mack Brown for the first time in his Texas career exceeded expectations, we have to dig deeper. We need what I call... context.

1.
The casual fan will peddle a surface-level explanation for Texas' success by pointing to the arrival of defensive guru Will Muschamp. That's not untrue, but to appreciate fully what that actually means we need to look much closer at the events that led to his being hired at UT.
If you weren't paying attention, you might think Will Muschamp just parachuted into Austin as if gifted by a stork. But that is not at all what actually happened. Will Muschamp's arrival in Austin was the last step in a long chain of events that began many years ago, every one of which a critical link in the chain. Let's start from the beginning.

[Discussion of Big Bang and rise of civilization omitted for length.]

From the key developments during the Paleolithic Period to the terror of the early 20th century Russian gulags, the very course of history shaped this story. Take away any of it and Mr. and Mrs. Muschamp never birth that child in their rural Georgia home. Context.

And what of Muschamp's predecessors in Austin? Was it predestined that both Gene Chizik and Duane Akina would be intellectually incapable of grasping the stupidity in trying to defend pass spread offenses with three bulky, slow linebackers? Of course not. To understand why Robert Killebrew was allowed to start over Rodderick Muckelroy, you'd need to know just how good Killebrew's salmon soufflet really was. And to understand that we'd have to go back to the time in Kill's childhood when his grandmother decided to sew him his first apron.

Remember the dog that chased the cat that caught the mouse that ate the cheese.... Context.

2.
Anybody who watched Texas this year knew that their offense struggled mightily in two critical regards: rushing the football and completing long downfield passes. Deficient in both, Texas only chance at being offensively explosive lay in executing the short passing game to absolute perfection. That is precisely what they did, as junior quarterback Colt McCoy broke the NCAA record for completion percentage in a season.

Was Texas simply fortunate to have on hand the right quarterback for the right season?

Perhaps... but perhaps not. Let's again dig a little deeper.

In 2002 a group of Swedish social scientists studied quarterbacks from small towns (2,500 or fewer residents) as part of their effort to estimate the chances one of their countrymen could make it to the National Football League as a passer. What they discovered is that there exists a direct inverse relationship between a quarterback's accuracy as measured by completion percentage and the size of his hometown as measured by population. Think about how astounding that is: The smaller your hometown, the better your accuracy throwing a football.

What is going on here?

The answer lies in behavioral economics. There are several relevant handicaps for a quarterback who grows up in a very small town. First, there are far fewer children around who are his age. Second, because job prospects are more modest in small towns, he is more likely to be economically disadvantaged. Third, and relatedly, the schools in his small town are less likely to have the resources and facilities that kids from bigger cities typically enjoy. Taken together, the small town kid who grows up wanting to be a quarterback has to train differently than he would in a bigger town. Most importantly, he will spend more time playing by himself. Without enough kids with whom he can practice and play -- not to mention a lack of training/practice facilities he can access year-round -- the rural quarterback hopeful winds up practicing drills on his own.

Without money for anything fancy, he throws the football through a tireswing. Or he creates imaginary receivers who run imaginary routes, rewarding himself by imaginary rules that require he toss the football in just the right spot.

While other quarterback hopefuls are playing sloppy games of neighborhood ball, the rural player is forced to find fun in exercises that are, at root, accuracy drills. Context.

Soon after the Swedish academics published their study in the obscure Journal Of Socioeconomic Rural Studies, a 23-year old Ph.D. candidate in economics happened across it during the course of his dissertation research on the intersection of football and religion in rural America. Can you guess the university in which he was enrolled? You're right -- it was the University of Texas-Austin. And his name? It was Chris Jesse. His relationship to Mack Brown? He is the Texas coach's stepson. Context.

As Mack Brown tells it, Jesse's discovery of the Swedish study wound up having a huge impact on Texas' recruiting strategy during 2004-05. "Late in the 2004 recruiting season I got this call from Chris and he's talking so fast I can barely understand him," Brown explains. "Chris is a pretty impulsive and excitable fella, so I didn't think much of it, but I told him to come to my office the next day and explain whatever it was that had him all riled up."

Jesse met with Brown over lunch and laid out what he'd learned. "The enormity of the implications of what Chris was telling me were immediately apparent," Brown continues. "When he was through explaining it we both sort of looked at each other and said simultaneously: Colt McCoy."

Colt McCoy -- a senior quarterback prospect from Tuscola, Texas, population 714. Colt McCoy, who grew up throwing footballs through a tire swing because there weren't enough kids with whom he could play. Colt McCoy, who quarterbacked his tiny 2A team to a state title but received only the scantest of attention from recruiting services like Rivals and Scout.

"As I recall, we'd just lost John Brantley to Florida," Brown says wistfully. "And suddenly we're presented with this evidence that small town quarterbacks are born and bred to throw darts. I'm not sure who was more surprised when we made Colt a scholarship offer -- McCoy himself, or our fanbase. Nobody had any clue who he was or why we wanted him."

Four years later, McCoy now owns most of the passing records at the University of Texas, along with the new national benchmark for completion percentage. The two-star quarterback from Nowhere, Texas was the perfect fit for the 2008 Longhorns. But how did Brown know he'd need McCoy's specific talents?

Mack Brown chuckles as he recalls the decision-making process. "Early in 2006 I'd sat down with Greg Davis and we looked carefully at what the roster was likely to be for the next two, three, and four years. The first thing that stood out is that we didn't have much confidence we were going to be able to figure out how to thrive passing and running the ball together at the same time. Outside Vince's senior year, I'm not sure Greg and I have ever been able to do that," Brown laments. "And the second thing we noticed was that we were going to have a downfield problem with our receivers. I asked Greg if Malcolm Williams, who we were recruiting at the time, would be ready by '08 and he said definitely not. And so we sort of came around to the idea that the hyper-accurate, underneath passing game was where we were headed."

When the coaches explained this to the other quarterback prospect on the roster, true freshman Jevan Snead, he saw the writing on the wall and wound up transferring to Ole Miss. And with that, everything was set for McCoy's run to the record books.

Remember the dog that chased the cat that ate the cheese...

Context.

Looking Ahead to 2009

This picture sums up how I feel every January. Alone, violated, despondent, a sense that there is no hope for the future-- and apparently, possibly attractive but unwilling to wear anything other baggy clothes so really, I'm kinda just annoying to look at for a long time. I mean honestly, what do I have to hide? And seriously, I'm in a beret-wearing phase (go to 1:35 mark).

Anyways, back to my point. Once again, we as a nation are forced to face the harrowing prospect of starting a new year with nine months devoid of organized intercollegiate football games. It's scary.

Ahh, this always makes me feel better: a hampster dressed like Rambo. Yes, now I can put my fears about 270 days without football to bed, since I will now instead by kept up late at night worried that these furry creatures are preparing for their own guinea-rilla warfare. Could it happen? Well, would you believe that this year's national champion would cut foreskins as part of his off-season workout? Yeah, seems a whole lot more real now, doesn't it?

We want you to know that despite the lack of games, we are not going to ease up on our poorly thought out and weakly defended opinions here at Office Tailgate. We will still update multiple times per week to fuel discussions here at our digital office water cooler, but we'd like to hear what you're interested in. Do you want stories on football recruiting, basketball insights, to introduce you to the hockey Frozen Four? Let us know, and feel free to be abusive. After all, like a redneck woman with low self-esteem, the only way we'll change is if you are savagely beat us and then later, half-heartedly, say you love us. So please, leave some comments and suggestions. At the very least, it'll be nice to hear we have a readership beyond my girlfriend.

National Championship Game Thoughts

I know it's a couple of days after the fact, but I have to work for a living and did not want to put up a post until I saw my final "Take a Te-Bow, Tim" montage from all the major TV networks of the season. Here are my thoughts on the national championship game.

- I thought the game was awesome. It had great defense, offense, special teams-- it was just a great game to watch. It was an entertaining game with a little bit of everything. While I wish that Oklahoma had scored one last time in the fourth to make it a one possession game, it was a great ending to another entertaining college football season. I'm also not alone apparently, as it earned the highest ratings in BCS title game history.

-- That being said, it was a really sloppy game. A lot of penalties on both sides, a lot of miscues on the field. The layoff between games has just gotten ridiculous, and it hurts the final product on the field. I'd much prefer wrapping up the games by Jan 3 at the latest.

--Time to address the Tebow situation. Personally, the game was exactly as I expected. He played pretty well, but I will never understand why he's considered such a great player. I understand he's a terrific person and ambassador for the sport, and I understand that he's a proven winner in both high school and college. His resume is great, but I do not get why we consider him to be "arguably the greatest college player ever." While Optimus Prime and I love to make Hoogs spontaneously combust by telling him that Tebow is better than Vince Young, he really seems to be simply an above average quarterback on an excellent team. He isn't all that fast, he isn't all that accurate, in fact the only thing I can see that sets him apart is that when he's tackled he always seems to fall forward for an extra two yards (unless it's 4th and 1 against Ole Miss).

For me, the game solidified that he's not going to make it in the NFL as a quarterback. He's not that fast, so it's not like he's a Vick-esque QB. He never completed any pass longer than 12 yards in the air, his first INT on a throw from the harsh mark to the far sideline showed he doesn't have the arm to make it in the NFL, and his second on a OU zone blitz showed he can't read defenses.

Finally, to all the media members like Scott Van Pelt that are shocked that so many people were rooting for Tebow to fail: understand that you created this monster. The American population is telling you that they are sick of Tim Tebow. Yes, he's a great person, but when he's the only person you talk about for the past three years (it started when he as a RB on the Chris Leak-led 2006 Gators), people get fed up. I'm not going to go into detail about how sickening the treatment of Tebow was during the game, Deadspin and others have already done so, but there is going to be a backlash. People now root for Tim Tebow to fail because it's the only way ESPN, SI, Fox, CBS and anyone else affiliated with sports TV will shut up about him. They don't root against a good kid, they root for whatever scenario will result in hearing about the rest of the players in college football. Remember: he's not even the best skilled position player on their offense, as Percy Harvin showed, let alone the best player in college football.

-- The National Championship was won by the Florida secondary and Brandon Spikes. Watching that game, I thought that Spikes showed that he is going to be the best player from either team in the NFL. He was everywhere-- blitzing, run defense, pass defense-- and was key to shutting down the OU offense juggernaut. The Florida secondary also played lights out the entire game, of course highlighted by Ahmad Black's amazing pick off Jaquian Igeslias. While the goal line stand gets a lot of credit (more on that below), the bigger key to Florida's success was the secondary shutting down TE Jermaine Gresham in the second half. A lot of credit goes to defense coordinator Charlie Strong, even if he does have jungle fever.

-- Oklahoma was going to lose when they were stopped on 4th and 1 from the goal line. When they missed that opportunity to close the game in the first half, you knew it wasn't going to be their night. When they also failed to score after getting second life off a roughing the punter call in the third quarter, when they were stopped again after another predictable off tackle run on third and short, you got that feeling again.

-- People like Kirk Herbstreit have defended Colt McCoy all year by saying that he had less talent around him than Sam Bradford. After watching this game and the Fiesta, I'm not so sure. I think I'll take Crosby and Shipley over just about any WR on the OU roster right now. It only makes Bradford look more impressive in my opinion, since he threw for those ridiculous numbers with only a tight end.

-- If I hear one more person write, "Well, this shows they don't play defense in the Big 12," I'm going to puke. Really? Why don't we say the same thing about the SEC. Georgia (49 points), LSU (51 points), South Carolina (56 points), Vandy (42 points) et al? They all seemed to look pretty pathetic on defense during the season. The two teams that held Florida to it's lowest outputs of the season: Miami and Oklahoma, neither of which are in the SEC. Time to quit the obsession with the SEC, now you're just making excuses for them.

Big Game Boob

Another choke by Stoops? Was this his fault or did his team simply fail to execute (everyone is looking at you, Juaquin "Butter Fingers" Iglesias)?

They're Going Pro? Bull-shitzu

Now that the college football season is ending, we are getting the annual list of college football players announcing that they are heading to the NFL a year early. Some like Iowa running back Shonn Greene and Alabama pro/left tackle Andre Smith have already announced that like a debutante on the last stair, they're "ready for the next step."

Two big announcements came today from my new home state of Georgia, as both QB Matthew Stafford and RB Knowshon Moreno have announced that they are taking their game, and I'm sure their undiagnosed cases of genital herpes (it's all about suppression), to the NFL.

If I can be as blunt as Michael Jackson, who ain't gonna live his life as a color, this is a very black or white decision. On the one hand, you have Knowshon Moreno. He has been one of the five best RBs in college football the last two years. Last year he had 1336 yards, this year he had 1400. Last year he average 5.4 yards per carry, this year he averaged 5.6. 14 TDs last year, 16 TDs this year. Last year his long run was 80 yards, this year it was 68 yards. He has very good size at 5'11" 207 lbs, but more importantly, he went through the past two years in the SEC as UGA's primary running back without surviving any major injury. This guy is an awesome talent and worthy of being a top 15 pick. He should leave early, since as a running back he has a short shelf life to begin with and staying for another year and taking 30 handoffs a game won't exactly extend the ol' career.

And on the other hand, you have Matthew Stafford. Let's play a game. Close your eyes. Let's pretend you have a college quarterback. Let's say he has great size, say, 6'3" 237 lbs. Let's say he also has great numbers: threw for 3500 yards, 25 TDs, and had a QB rating of 153.5. Let's also say he has a rocket arm. Let's also say that he makes a lot of bad decisions, like 10 INTS and took 17 sacks this year. Let's say in big games, like against Florida, he threw of 0 TDs and 3 picks. Let's say most of his numbers came in garbage time. He makes awful decisions. He has a great arm, but makes terrible reads and forces passes all the time. If I told you all this, you know who you'd think of? Ryan Leaf. Akili Smith. Tim Couch (PS, yes that's autographed. What's missing form the photo is the card: "To Mom and Dad-- May Your Life, Like My Career, Be a Perfect Downward Spiral. Love, Tim Couch #2. PS- I took out the garbage).

Stafford is a great talent. He has all the tools you could ever want, seems to be a good athlete, but he's not ready for the NFL. He needs another year in a pass happy offense, which UGA will be without Knowshon-ing who will run the ball, to learn how to read defenses. Also, by coming out this year, congrats: you're going to the Detroit Lions. I'm a Browns fan, and even I can make fun of the Lions. Basically, he's decided to take $60 million contract in exchange for being a cripple for the rest of his life. Like milk on a hot day, this was a poor choice.

A guy can dream (My hope for the NCG)

Wouldn't it be great to see an epic battle tomorrow night? I think it would.
But wouldn't it be better to see that epic battle end in this final score:

Florida 45
Oklahoma 35

Karma is a bitch.

The Morning After - Quick Thoughts

It's a busy morning here, but I wanted to get some initial quick thoughts down before I am lost to meetings until the early afternoon, during which I will give a full analysis of last night's game and Thursday's big game (plus give my bonus pick for the GMAC Bowl in the shameless promotion of one of our clients).

1. Colt McCoy should have won the Heisman Trophy. I posted about this earlier in the season, but it seems there is a new term out there worth mentioning, and that is the "word" Heisman-esque. Everyone seems to be searching for that Heisman-esque moment from a quarterback, and it is looking more and more like that is the ultimate criteria for voters. Yet among the three finalists, only Tebow and McCoy truly had these moments. And Tebow's was not so much one moment as his famed post game speech that led to his ridiculous numbers for the remainder of the season. What was Bradford's moment? That idiotic leap toward the end zone in an eventual blowout win of Okie State? He didn't even score! Meanwhile, Colt lead a 2 (now three) fourth quarter comebacks this year, one against Bradford and the Sooners and (HOLD YOUR BREATH) one against the Red Raiders. Unlike Tebow, who blew it on 4th and 1, Colt was watching from the sidelines as the defense rendered his efforts futile. On Monday, Colt showed again why he is the leading candidate for next year's Heisman trophy. Which leads me to point number 2...

2. Terrelle Pryor is incredible. He will definitely be in the mix for the next 3 Heisman trophies, and his team will be in the BCS Championship game in the near future. But heed this, oh Sweater Vest: be careful in Pryor's development. He could be a better overall quarterback than Vince Young if he is allowed to be. In the second half of the Fiesta Bowl, Pryor became a run-first guy. And it worked. And the more he realizes that running will help him win games, the more he will run. But he cannot afford to start thinking running is the only answer, given that he needs to work on his checks, mechanics and down field vision. He's not a great passer by any stretch, so I hope he develops that aspect of his game, because then he will truly be fun to watch.

3. Beanie Wells actually might have hurt his draft stock last night. His first half performance was leading to a game for the ages. But then he got hit and concussed in the second half. Another injury for the big running back. Is he durable enough for the NFL? There is a little of the Adrian Peterson caution aura around him that he might not be injury prone. He will likely need to fine tune his running style to limit big hits, or else he needs to work out a little harder. Beanie could be a top running back in the NFL, but he has to be healthy to get there.

4. Texas needs a running back. Chris Ogbannaya is a senior, and he was never hugely effective unless he was catching passes out of the backfield. Fozzy Whittaker has gamebreaking speed and runs a 4.4 40-yard dash, but he is small and has poor vision. Cody Johnson is a big boy, but not fast enough to be an every down back. Vondrell McGee didn't even see a snap last night (was he hurt?) As good as Colt is, someone needs to step up next season if the Longhorns are going to live up their inevitable pre-season hype. That someone could be a guy like DeSean Hales, a top 3 ATH recruit that red shirted this year and who has 4.3 speed. Hales is expected to see time at RB and WR. It could also be a combination of Fozzy and Chris Whaley, an incoming freshman who, at 6'3, 218 is already running 4.5 and had a great game at the Army All-American Bowl. If Whaley can run over people and wear down defenses while occasionally breaking a big run, it will take a lot of pressure off of Fozzy and Colt, allowing the run game to progress from what it was this year. And don't forget Vondrell. His year was up and down this season, but there were times (more so in 2007) where he showed he can be an explosive back.

5. Todd Boeckman throws a good ball. If he could just work on his footwork, he actually could succeed in the NFL. The problem is he never moves from the pocket and can't throw on the run. Some conditioning and reps can really help him here. He made some really good throws yesterday, despite being Brian Orakpo's tackling dummy.

6. I will really miss college football. This time of the year is the dark ages. But we can already look forward to next year. And I think the teams to beat will be Florida, Texas, Alabama and USC. Expect a lot more on these predictions later, as well as more game analysis, recruiting updates and a live title game blog. And also look for us to debate why Utah does/does not deserve to be a national champion, but certainly does deserve to be considered.

Fiesta Bowl Live Blog

Welcome to the Fiesta Bowl. Unfortunately, this game features a Big 10 team, so I did not rush through my dinner to open my computer. I'll open with first quarter thoughts from me and D Brown (who is suffering from (James) Laurenitis and can't reach a computer), and hopefully Hoogs will bribe Time Warner in order to join us in the second half.

Predictions this game:
Uncle D: Texas by 28
Hoogs: Texas 36-14
Brooks: Any score that will keep the Big 10 in the BCS next year. Let's say, Texas by 14

First Quarter Thoughts
-- Pryor looks good early. Some nice intermediate throws, but an incredibly impressive run for a first down on 3rd and 11 where he broke three tackles after failing to find an open receiver. Thankfully, his stride isn't nearly as duck-like as his throws downfield. No word on if he whispered "Vince who?" to Mack Brown as he went back to the huddle.

-- Per Uncle D: "Jim Tressell hands out buckeyes like monopoly money."

-- Colt McCoy, as expected, looks really sharp. Hoogs is frustrated by the lack of a run game early for the Longhorns. By the way, did you know McCoy and Jordan Shipley are both friends, roommates, and teammates? This is breaking news!

-- The announcers let us know that after giving up 0 first quarter points, it is fair to assume Jim Tressell is pleased with his defense. Somewhere, however, Craig James is criticizing McCoy as "simply another Big 12 QB who can't my find my son open in the flat."

-- It's now 3-3 early in the second where I pick up

-- I'm confused by both coaches demeanors. Both Mack Brown and Jim Tressell are normally very cool on the sideline, but tonight both look angry and are yelling at their players. My guess: they are hoping Will Muschamp will let them sit at the "cool" table postgame if they show some rage

10:11 in the 2nd
Beanie Wells is having a really solid start to this game. He's broken two long runs and just picked up a big first down on a screen pass after Pryor followed the suggestion on the Mom in "Rookie of the Year and simply "Float[ed] It" over the heads of the Texas D Line

7:06 in the 2nd
Wells continues to run like a Top 10 Pick in the NFL Draft is waiting for him in the end zone. Another 20 yard run puts the Buckeyes in the Red Zone for the first time tonight. Old Spice-- looks like you're missing out on a valuable marketing opportunity . . .

5:39 in the 2nd
Jim Tressell once again shows why he's the WNBA of bowl game coaches. They may not be flashy on offense or successful in the end zone, but he will field goal the shit out of you (he has already attempted 3 tonight). 6-3 Buckeyes after OSU fails to convert a 3rd and 2 from the Texas 6.

By the way, what the hell is "G"? This commercial confuses the hell out of me. I think it has to do with athletics, but suddenly there's a random kid and the Jaborwakeez Dance Team at the end. I think it's Gatorade, but after watching season 2 of the Wire and seeing Avon in prison, I'm not exactly sure I want to know if "G is in me."

Hoogs is concerned with the lack of confidence in the demeanor of the Texas offense, that the D is not staying in lanes, but more importantly, about what the hell a "Vondrell McGee" and "Fozzy Whittaker" are. All he knows is that they certainly aren't running backs

5:34 in the 2nd
Scary moment as an Ohio State senior is getting carted off on a head board. Thoughts go out to him and we hope it's not serious

5:15 in the 2nd
McCoy hits his "room mate, best friend, and the only man who understands him and his touch" Jordan Shipley for a big conversion on 3rd and 10. Finally, the UT line gave McCoy some time and actually gave him a play off from getting popped in the mouth

Brad: Ohio State is winning the battle of the trenches so far tonight on both sides of the ball

2:32 in the 2nd
Tonights halftime show is brought to you by Southwest Airlines. Feel free to "Want to Get Away" and watch Comedy Central on the break. I'm sure they'll have Britney Smith and Aerosmith-- and you will be confused.

2:25 in the 2nd
Huge play. While I admire Mack Brown for pulling his sack out by going for it on 4th and 7 to show Jim Tressell what giant balls look like, it leads to a big sack for the Buckeyes. They now get the ball at midfield with plenty of time before the half. I can't tell if Hoogs is screaming or whimpering-- he lives in New York City plus I have double paned glass windows.

1:03 in the 2nd
Jim Tressell once again shows that he's never met a momentum swing he couldn't slowly suffocate until it stopped twitching. After the big turnover on downs, the Buckeyes are stymied after only one first down and is forced to punt. This game is like Washington and Lee football-- it's all about the kicking game.

:04 Left in the 2nd
Unfortunately for Texas, Colt McCoy has also seen Rookie of the Year. McCoy floats a pass while back pedaling from his own 9 yard line that gets picked off. So far the best offense we've seen all game are the eyes Colt McCoy's Dad is giving Colt's girlfriends in the stands.

6-3 Ohio State at the Half

Halftime Chatter
-- I've learned that Anderson Russell, the Ohio State player who just came through with that big INT at the end of the half, is apparently also from Atlanta and went to a high school (Marist School) that is a rival of the school at which I work. Basically, I think that makes us best friends. Guess who I'm friending on facebook tonight . . .

-- Barry Switzer is apparently toning it down slightly tonight. The pin stripes on his suit are only wide enough to hold enough coke to get him high, not the entire 1985 Oklahoma Sooners offensive line

-- I can't tell which teams marching band has the more effeminate uniforms. One teams has tassells, not on strippers ta-tas, but on their shirts. The other wear's berets. . . like a Frenchmen. Both schools should be almost as embarrassed by these uniforms as they are by their offenses performances in the red zone.

-- Brad gave me these thoughts on what Texas needs to do: actually block on the O line so McCoy stops getting popped like vicodin in Brett Favre's medicine cabinet, actually put in a running back with speed to diversify the offense, and find some way to keep Pryor in the pocket.

-- My suggestions for Ohio State: get some red zone efficiency, try to completely a pass downfield, and most importantly, hope that Jim Tressell of 2001 travels through time and kills 2009 Tressell (like a Terminator) in order to save Big 10 football

11:38 in the 3rd
I love the way that Mack Brown is coaching this game so far. First, he goes for it on 4th and 7 late in the 2nd quarter. Then, goes for it again on 4th and 1 on his opening drive of the second half. Now, after his drive stutters at midfield, he fakes the punt and gets just enough from the direct snap to the upback. Those are testicles in his pants, sweater vest.

9:26 in the 3rd
4th and 1, and he goes for it again! And-- shock!-- the football gods reward him with another conversion. Somewhere, ESPN's TMQB is beaming. This is awesome

8:29 in the 3rd
McCoy scores on a 15 yard QB draw, capped with him tapping B Button to spin around the helpless OSU defensive back. What's most impressive about this drive is that it took 15 plays. That's a lot of plays for a single drive, and could really come back to haunt OSU later in the game. I hate to sound like I'm plagiarizing Phil Simms' "Phil"osophy (trademark CBS Sports, 2002), but this next drive is big for both teams

10-6 Texas

6:58 in the 3rd
Terrelle Pryor is apparently dead set on leading the Buckeyes to a miraculous 4th quarter come back, because he throws his third down pass which puts the OSU defense back on the field after a quick 3 and out.

5:50 in the 3rd
After Texas seemed to be driving once again, a foolish grounding call and a horrible running play leaves the Longhorns with a 4th and 36. It not only gives the Buckeyes the ball, but it also seems to throw off the chess match between these two mediocre coaching minds as the Buckeyes now own the "field position game." 1rst and 10 Buckeyes at midfield. In order to match this ineptitude by Brown, I'm sure Tressell will opt to take the knee three times and punt to pin the Longhorns deep.

3:50 in the 3rd
Oh my god. I was just kidding when I said that, but the Buckeyes just went 3 plays for zero yards and punted to put the Horns at their own 15. That . . . that is Big 10 football

2:33 in the 3rd
Shipley has another nice grab, but is unable to get any yards after the catch once again. Hopefully by the time he's on his 16the year of eligibility, he'll have the speed to break one of those tackles. Texas is driving again on the Buckeye's defense with ease both passing the ball-- and new for the second half: running the ball!

1:04 in the 3rd
Remember what I said about that opening drive? Well, the Buckeyes were so tired they didn't even both to get in their stance at the end of that drive. McCoy hits Cosby for a 7 yard TD on the play. I'm about to give up on this game.

17-6 Longhorns

14:52 in the 4th
Todd Boekman denies all the odds and completes what I can only assume his first collegiate pass. Brian Robiskie also made an amazing grab on the play-- if he Dad could coach as well as Brian can catch, his Dad would be doing better than waiting to be the next interim coach of the Washington Redskins

13:22 in the 4th
This may be difficult to imagine, but stay with me here. After an awful pass by Boekman on first down, a Beanie Wells run straight up the middle for two yards, and a woefully under thrown pass by Pryor that should've been picked off, the Buckeyes settle for a field goal in the red zone. This is certainly unprecedented. And watchable

10:06 in the 4th
Here's a rule question for all of you out there. I've just watched the Texas punter roll out for the fifth time tonight before punting. The question is: why doesn't Ohio State just unload on the guy? Once he rolls out of the pocket, aren't they allowed to hit him since it could be a fake? Wouldn't knocking 3 punters out of the game possibly help Ohio State?

9:20 Left in the 4th
Well, it took 21 minutes, but they finally decided to have Pryor run the ball this half. Shockingly, it is a pickup for a startling 16 yards. Next play: play action screen to the tight end. Naturally.

8:26 in the 4th
Pryor just runs for another 26 yard gain. That sound you just heard was every defensive coordinator in the country vomit in fear of having to scheme for this kid for another three years.

It's OK, Texas fans, I'm sure this drive will end in a field goal.

7:26 Left in the 4th
So maybe this will be a game. After lining up Pryor at WR multiple times throughout the game, they finally throw the fade to him with Boekman at QB. Unfortunately, this happens just as the announcers were wondering allowed if the Buckeyes would run the play, so they now believe they are competent at their jobs.

On the two point attempt, shockingly, Pryor's throw off his back foot is about a yard and a half short of its target. Consistency is key I guess.

17-15 Texas

3:59 Left in the 4th
The announcers once again just showed their brilliance, as after three and a half quarters they have finally caught on to the fact that Pryor's a running quarterback: "If I'm Texas and Pryor is in the game, I'm going to try to stop the run." No word yet on if they've figured out Texas is the team in red jerseys.

2:06 in the 4th
Back up running back Daniel Herron scores on a 15 yard scamper off the left tackle with no one in the secondary around to help out the Texas front 7.

On the 2 point conversion, there are off setting pass interference penalties on Pryor and the DB covering him. I've never seen that before in my life. When was the last time you saw a 2 pointer replayed from the 2.

On the replay, a wide open TE Rory Nichol drops Pyror's pass in the end zone.

21-17 Ohio State.

2:05 in the 4th
Well, we've just been told the BCS implications of a Ohio State upset are "staggering." Yes, I was really being kept up all night wondering if Texas or Utah was going to be the #3 team in the final poll. Jeez, let the game stand on it's own. 2 minutes left and a 4 point game between two Top 10 teams-- how is that not dramatic enough for you?

:38 Left in the 4th
Texas completes a pass on 4th and 3 right at the yard stick. Currently, both coaches are going ape shit over the spot of the ball. Texas hated the original spot of the ref's foot (the pass was completed on their sideline), Ohio State flipped out when the ball was actually placed.

Chains say first down Texas at the 40, but Ohio State is going to challenge. I don't know which Coach is more surprised to learn that they can make a challenge in the bowl game.

Ruling stands on the field, which both announcers say they agree with. Sorry, Hoogs, I can only assume then that the refs blew it.

:16 Left in the 4th
Wow. Texas hits Cosby on a quick slant with no safety help deep, he breaks the tackle and runs in for a 20 yard touchdown run. Great read by McCoy.

What's interesting is that Texas is up by a field goal, but they also drew an unsportsmanlike penalty call after the play. This gives the Buckeye's an extra 15 yards of field position off the kick since Teas is kicking from their own 15, with 2 TO and a kicker who already made one 50+ field goal. This is a great game.

Those two missed 2 point conversions for OSU are looming large now. If they made one and got the other extra point, it's a tie game. Hindsight.

24-21 Ohio State.

:11 Left in the 4th
Ohio State returns the kick to it's own 45, so they'll need roughly 20 yards on 2 play max to get into field goal range.

:05 Left in the 4th
Well, Orakpo has made his presence known, as he is somehow able to track down nimble Todd Boekman for a sack in the backfield. Next for Orakpo after this demonstration of pure speed and athletic ability? An obstacle race again Ussein Bolt.

Game Over
In a pass that perfectly sums up his career at Ohio State, Boeckman's pass lands 15 yards short of the end zone and is batted down by the Texas DB's. A great ending to an entertaining 4th quarter. See you all Thursday for the national title game.

Media, You Always Surprise Me

More thoughts on Utah's terrific performance against Alabama tonight, but before we get there we have to cover the bigger story. It was a huge race to see which media member would be the first doucher to exclaim, "Man, if only Utah could play in the next round next week!"

Well, ladies and gentlemen, your winner is: Matt Wiener, who said this statement on ESPN at 11:55 pm EST. No word yet on whether he killed Steve Berthume in Bristol before stealing his exact facial structure

The Beauty of Karma

Now, allow me to open by saying that in many ways this is a bitter and unfair post. When I was 19, I was stupid. I made bad decisions, I said stupid things, but luckily being a pledge at a small school wasn't exactly being a "public figure" so my indiscretions rarely made national news. Well, except once. But we don't bring that up.

The good thing for me was, in the end, I learned from these moments. Even when I got away with stupid things, something happened later on that made me realize my previous mistakes. It's karma. If you don't know what that is, take 24 minutes and watch an episode of "My Name is Earl." Then watch Mallrats, and please explain to tell me what the hell happened to Jason Lee's career. He's the Steve Spurrier of actors. They both were great 5-10 years ago. Now, you'd think it's still going well for them-- Lee has a hit primetime sitcom, while Spurrier is coaching a January 1 bowl-bound SEC team. But it only takes 30 minutes of watching either to realize something has gone terribly wrong for both men.

You'd think both of these men are currently successful, but you'd be wrong

So this week, we got to see two examples of karma at work with young quarterbacks. First, there was Michigan recruit Shavodrick Beaver (Disclaimer: I'm a bitter Michigan fan here. Not only does Michigan desperately need a ton of QB recruits to run RichRod's system, but look at his name! Shavodrick Beaver! The first name is enough, but to also add the possibility of shouting "Let's Go Beaver!' or "Beaver Scores" or "It's a cold one here in Ann Arbor, let's hope Beaver's got his fur!" Endless!). Beaver announced just before Christmas, and two weeks before he was supposed to arrive on campus, that he was changing his commitment from Michigan to Tulsa. One of the four best programs in college football history to a Conference USA team. Shocking, but after Tulsa's offense exploded under first year coordinator Gus Malzahn, not all that surprising. I mean, I'd prefer to play under the guy that made Pat White a Heisman contender as opposed to the guy that made Mitch Mustain a back up at USC, but that's just me.

So as a Michigan fan, I was thrilled to see karma come through for me shortly after Beaver's announcement (Beaver's announcement! Tell me you didn't giggle. Man, so close to greatness), another report came out: Malzahn was leaving Tulsa to bring the spread to Gene Chizik's Auburn staff. So, in short, he backed out of his commitment to Michigan at the last possible moment and too late to get another early enrollment QB into Ann Arbor, which was a cheap move, to play for a coach who ditched him at the last possible moment for a BCS job. Karma. I wish Beaver well at Tulsa, but hope his success there comes no where near the success of Tate Forcier at Michigan.

I will save my laughter that Chizik is trying to bring in a spread offense one year after Tony Franklin's spread marked the end of the Tuberville-era on the Plains for a later date.

Karma appeared again this past week in southern Florida. Freshmen quarterback Robert Marve demanded and received his release from Hurricane's coach Randy Shannon. Why did he demand his release? Because he's livid that coach Randy Shannon suspended him, not once, but twice this season. The first time was because Marve was arrested for "resisting arrest without violence and criminal mischief" in the off season. He was then suspended for the Emerald Bowl after he missed his fourth class of the semester-- he claims he was just late after meeting with another professor, which as a former TA, I believe as much as I believe that Britney Spears lost all that weight without the natural energy boost of 3 grams of coke per day-- which prompted his demand to be released.

Coach Shannon granted him this release, but with simple restrictions: you can't go anywhere in the SEC, ACC, or Florida. Simply put, Shannon said you can't go anywhere where we might play you in the regular season. When Marve found out he wasn't getting his way, his family and his high school coach both lost it. They called it bitter and spiteful move by Shannon, I call it Karma. If you're going to demand your release to a school because you screwed up, you don't get to do whatever you want. If you hurt the team by getting suspended, the team may hurt you. Notre Dame told football and lacrosse player Will Yeatman that he was allowed to transfer to any school not on Notre Dame's 2009 football or lacrosse schedule. Shannon essentially told Marve the same thing. I don't want to pile on Marve, because again, I am still young and stupid, but I hope Shannon has taught him a lesson about earning what you want in life. This will hopefully make him a better citizen and teammate where ever he ends up, meaning that he learned from this run in with Karma.

Tennessee Update

After 6 weeks or so of speculation, Lane Kiffin has brought on the second key figure to his coaching staff in Knoxville. Ed Orgeron officially joined the Volunteers staff yesterday, under the title of defensive line coach and recruiting coordinator.

I've pointed out earlier that I think brining Orgeron onto the staff was a huge coup for Kiffin. Orgeron is a terrific recruiter who has successfully brought top talent to teams both on the West Coast and the SEC. He'll immediately help Kiffin with his '09 class, but especially his class in 2010 after Orgeron has a full year to sway high school players back to Rocky Top.

January 2nd Bowl Games

Rather than bask in the glory of my 4-1 record in predictions last night-- what the hell, Cincinnati? A QB roll out on 4th and goal on the 1?-- I'm going to continue my predictions today.

Cotton Bowl: No bowl has gotten more screwed in the last 15 years than the Cotton Bowl. First, the Southwestern Conference folds like a lawn chair leaving the folks in Dallas without any conference tie ins, then the BCS locks them out of the major bowls in favor of the Fiesta Bowl. Cruel way to watch what used to be one of the 4 biggest bowls in the sport die a slow death.

So this game is a tough choice for me. On the one hand, I'm on record in saying that Michael Crabtree deserved the Heisman Trophy this year. On the other hand, I have developed a Bill Simmons-esque man-crush on Ole Miss QB Jevon Snead. All this kid needs is an older brother and he could be the next Eli Manning-- complete with the 0 conference title game appearances. In the end, Grabtree and Kliff Kingsbury 2.0 are too much, since Houston Nutt couldn't win the Cotton Bowl with Darren McFadden after all.

Texas Tech 42 Ole Miss 24

Sugar Bowl: This game looked like a blow out on paper, but then Nick Saban did the unthinkable in the SEC: he actually disciplined a player. Stud left tackle Andre Smith was suspended for the Sugar Bowl by Saban, leading to rumors it was caused by illegal contact between Smith and an agent. The only game that Smith missed this year was the game against Tulane, in which the Green Wave held the Tide to a season low 172 yards of total offense.

This suspension is going to hurt, but I don't think it's enough. I assume that the chastity suits the Utes have to wear will cause havok with their sweat glands in the stifling Superdome humidity and hurt their chances to stay with the Tide in the second half.

Alabama 21 Utah 7

New Year's Day Bowl Predictions

Well, we now officially being the biggest week in college sports. We have some great match ups, the first two BCS games, and four wicked hangovers to bring it all together. Let's get some predictions.

Gator Bowl: Uncle D sent this one via text. He is at the Gator Bowl today, watching Nebraska v. Clemson. D says "Nebraska 24 Clemson 17. I can't respect anyone named Dabo." I got to agree with him, I don't see Clemson starting 2009 with a win in Da Gator Bo. Bo Pellini also seemed to call a masterful game for Les Miles last night Peach Bowl, so I also see Nebraska winning by a touchdown.

Outback Bowl: Everyone is giving this game to South Carolina, and since I think everyone else is retarded, I will go ahead and pick an upset. Short of Danny Wuerfel suiting up again in Cock Red, I don't see how South Carolina wins this game. Shonn Green is a beast and will leave Spurrier shouting "He ran that TD how fast?!" on the sideline. I don't think Chris Smelley could beat out Nick Sheridan in a QB race and Garcia's parole officer might not let him play without his ankle bracelet, greatly hurting his mobility in the pocket. Steve Spurrier is about to get broom-broom vacced out of Tampa. Iowa 24- USC 10

Capital One Bowl: As I linked earlier this week, Mr. SEC pointed out that the Big 10 is 6-5 against the SEC in bowl games since 2004. Last year, Michigan pulled out an upset in this bowl game against Florida and their coach, Pope Urban the Douche. I don't see lightening striking twice here. While Javon Ringer will get yards and Matthew Stafford will throw enough INTs that I will be clueless as to why NFL teams will put him in the Top 10 on their draft boards, Mark Richt knows Knowshon Moreno is in his wallet, so he can win the bowl and fight against high interest rates. UGA 28 MSU 14

Rose Bowl: Whoa Nelly! The Granddaddy of them all! Again, no one is giving Penn State a chance in this game. Everyone thinks this is a blowout because Pete Carroll blatantly cheats and pays his players. You know what? They're right. While USC may be the worst NFL team I've ever seen, they are cleaning up house ever since they were relegated to college sports with Carroll. I do think that Penn State has enough offense to keep this game close, and I also think that USC's offense will struggle in its first game with a new offensive coordinator. USC 31 PSU 21

Orange Bowl: Did you know this bowl is still in the BCS? I had no idea, since I hadn't see this game in probably five years. Then again, no one has paid any attention to college football in South Florida for the past five years either. Out of tradition, I'll pick this game. I hate Virginia Tech. I hate the school, I hate the team, I hate the fans, I hate the colors, I hate their faces. Cincinnati is in Ohio. Cincinnati 28 VT 17