I Think We Just Blue Ourselves

As you saw from my previous post, I was beyond excited for the start of football season. I saw great live football, was catching up on season previews, and was even momentarily reflective on past experiences.

Then, I woke up to this.

I hate this damn game.

I really have way too many thoughts that are simultaneously conflicting and supporting to come up with any sort of coherent, flowing post. So, I will resort to bullet points instead. Judge me if you must, but it's all I'm capable of pulling off as of now.

1. Are you kidding me, RichRod?! Actually, no. My simultaneous disbelief and anger justify multiple interrobangs on this one. So here we go: ?!?!?!. (Yep, those are called interrobangs. I read good.) Back to my anger. Come on, Rodriguez! I don't know whether these are true or not, but for once I'd like to see Michigan football on the front page of ESPN for a reason other than "Massive scandal," "Embarrassing loss," or "Worse season ever." Just once, Coach. Just once.

2. How is this news? The folks at Mgoblog have gone into great detail tearing the article in question apart, so I will only provide you with my major problem with the article. Basically, the author of the article accuses Michigan of grossly violating the NCAA mandated time limits without actually describing what activities violated the rules. You say Michigan players were busy from 10-10 on Sundays. That's great, but how much of it were actual team activities? Not everything players do counts towards the NCAA time limits, so exactly what did they do each day that broke the rules? If you don't list them, and explain how each of these hours were in violation, you are not accurately reporting the facts. In its current format, all the author does is make clear that he reached a conclusion and then made sure the evidence fit the conclusion he wanted it to. Get the Pulitzer ready.

3. Again?! This has now happened to me twice in the last two years. In 2006, I started up grad school at one of the most storied and successful basketball programs in the country. A program that prided itself not just on winning, but winning the right way: they had never even been accused of a NCAA violation. They brought in a new coach who people assumed would be a great recruiter, game manager, and restore the program to glory. That coach was Kelvin Sampson, and the school was Indiana. Indiana fired Sampson a year later, suffered crippling sanctions, and is now struggling to build a 2010 recruiting class after the worse season in school history.

Fast forward two years, and you have almost the exact same situation at Michigan. You bring in a new, controversial coach that split the alums, suffer through a struggling season, and now make the school a laughing stock in the national media and punchline for asshole fans and bloggers everywhere. If this ends in sanctions and Michigan has to become college football's Alabama for this decade, I may burn the entire state of West Virginia to the ground.

4. Why is this a big deal? Andy Staples recently reflected on the slap on the wrist Alabama received for its textbook fiasco, and he pointed out that there is probably too much money on the table for the NCAA to really punish a program as prominent and profitable as Alabama-- or Michigan. The NCAA still hasn't done anything about that whole "Reggie Bush and Matt Leinhart Were All Paid By and Illegally Recruited For USC" thing, so the odds of Michigan getting punished are pretty small. Lost hour or so of practice time in the spring, maybe a fine, maybe a scholarship for one year if things get really out of hand. In the end, we are most likely making a huge deal out of nothing that really only accomplishes embarassing Michigan's players, coaches, students, alumni and fans.

5. Since Bo Schembechler died the day before the 2006 Ohio State game, Michigan has: lost to Ohio State twice, lost in the Rose Bowl, had the worst season in school history, and now faced an NCAA inquiry. Bo's death may turn out to be more tragic than the Day the Music Died (too soon, Big Bopper fans?).

In the end, after a day like today, I feel like I have already been to visit on Dr. Tobias Funke, and his unique practice that combines his skills as an analyst and a therapist.

Wake me when it's over . . .