The beginning of the wait...

So about 6 weeks ago our fearless leader asked if I'd write a preview of the upcoming ACC season, seeing as I'm the only contributor to have grown up in the area. "Great," I thought, "it'll be interesting to think about the conference in the post-Hansborough era. I then realized he meant the football and was stumped.

Because the ACC was, is, and always will be a basketball conference. Football is just a diversion between the end of NASCAR and Midnight Madness. Ask anyone who has lived in North Carolina in the past 60 years. In my opinion the conference sold its soul when they let Miami, VT and BC (seriously, Boston College?!), and what have they gotten in return? 3 poorly-attended games set in 2 of the sh*ttiest cities in America, Jacksonville and Tampa. Not exactly hotbeds of ACC fever. But it shouldn't come as a surprise, since sports in America today are soulless and all anyone cares about is tha almighty dollar. WHATEVER. On with the preview.

Caution: The following contains little, if any, actual football knowledge

Atlantic Division

(1) Florida State
You didn't think I would actualy put up a picture of a Seminole, did you? Well then you were sadly mistaken, my friend.

The 'Noles joined the league in '92 and straight dominated for years. In fact they didn't lose to an ACC opponent until '97 I believe. However they seem to have slipped a bit over the past few years, mostly owing to the long, slow road into bewilderment that Bobby Bowden refuses to acknowledge that he is on. Seriously, has anyone listened to an interview with this guy in the last 5 years? He makes Uncle Junior look copos mentis.

But still, this is Free Shoes University and they must have recruited some decent players. Plus the O-line lost no-one to graduation (in fact it still doesn't have any seniors). That should give 2nd year QB Christian Ponder the security he needs to develop.

(2) NC State

How great are these two? I love the fact that State has a married couple as their mascots. And she's dressed like Betty Draper! Much love to Mr. and Mrs. Wuf.

Coach Tom O'Brien is in the 3rd year of his "it's not about the money" gig since fleeing the banks of the river Charles. Seasons 1 and 2 were underwhelming to say the least. The Pack opened last season across the street from my apartment against the mighty Cocks, where they were stomped on, 34-0. But the silver lining there was that freshman QB Russell Wilson was injured in the first half, before any points were actually scored. The Pack continued to stumble to a 2-6 start, but after a bye week they won their last 4 and earned a trip to Birmingham, AL, for the papajohns.com bowl (crowned "Worst Bowl Game in the World" by Deadspin!). Wilson was the first freshman QB to be named 1st team All-ACC and now expectations are high. State opens the season against the South Carolina again, this time in Raleigh, tomorrow night in fact. Will Wilson deliver on the hype? Who knows. Only one thing's for sure: They sure do have a damn ugly campus.

(3) Wake Forest

Yeah, he went there.

The Deacs were the surprise champs of the first 12-team ACC football season and were rewarded with a drubbing in the Orange Bowl. Expectations were high as a true freshman QB started that year. Now Rily Skinner is a vet and looks to go out on a strong note. Wake has made 3 consecutive bowls and was just out of the conference championship running last year. But the defense lost 7 starters to graduation and was the better unit last year. Their first really challenging game shouldn't come until October, though, so perhaps a strong start will allow the Deacs to make another run at winning the division.

(4) Clemson

I know, I know, this is an ACC preview and not a forum for USC-Clemson trash-talking. But I think the terms of my student loan actually require me putting this picture up. I may have to re-check the fine print.

Clemson is coached by Dabo Swinney, who was promoted last year after Tommy Bowden "stepped down" (read: was fired) midseason. True story: Swinney got his nickname because his older brother, when they were both toddlers, referred to him as "'Dat Boy." I wish I was making this up.

Anyway, this Clemson season will go the same as all the others: Their expectations will be way too high, people's jobs will be threatened, and everyone in Death Valley will be pissed...then they'll drive down to Columbia 2 days after Thanksgiving and beat the crap out of USC, and think they're a national power again.

(5) Maryland

Fear the Stairmaster...

The Terps were just 4-4 in the conference last year, but the crazy thing about the ACC is that the league is so deep (or devoid of good teams, your choice) that they weren't that far off the pace. Maybe if Head Coach Ralph Friedgen can put down the cupcakes and draw up some decent plays they'll contend. But I give the edge to the cupcakes.

(6) Boston College

Sadly, this guy is out of eligibility.

BC heads into the season reeling. The head coach for the past two seasons (campaigns in which the Eagles won the division both times), Jeff Jagodzinski, flirted with the New York Jets, only to be told by the AD that even interviewing with them would cost him his job at BC. Neither party blinked, and Jagodzinski left (but ended up with the Bucs, as the Jets preferred the whirling dervish that is Rex Ryan). Combine that with massive graduation losses and the Eagles are looking down the barrel of a gun to start the season. Matt Ryan isn't coming through that door, folks.

Coastal Division

Side note: How stupid are these division names? This is my favorite conference and I have no idea who is in which division. What the hell is the difference between Atlantic and Coastal? Just another reason why the expansion of '05 sucked.

(1) Virginia Tech

"Thanks to all alumni who offer service within their communities, setting an example for the thousands of new students who join our Virginia Tech family each year." - Tom Tiller '69, Virginia Tech's VP for Alumni Relations, in the latest Alumni magazine.

Looking back on the past decade of Hokie dominance, first in the Big East and now the ACC, it's easy to forget that their rise to power has as much to do with the scumbag on the left as it does with Frank Beamer. Okay, so maybe it's not so hard.

Still, you can't deny Beamer's craftiness. He was the first college coach to really make special teams a staple of the squad and it has paid dividends over the years. They have won FIFTY games in the last five years. Any guesses who else has done that? Southern Cal and Texas, that's it.

The defending Conference Champs have every reason to expect to make another trip to the Orange Bowl this season. Last year's tug-of-war for the starting QB job between Tyrod Taylor and Sean Glennon is over; Taylor is the leader by virtue of graduation. In the tradition of you-know-who, taylor rushed for an impressive 738 yards last year in addition to 1,036 in the air. Still, his completion rate was only 57% - not enough to get the Hokies to Pasadena for the BCS title game. But if he can improve his accuracy in this Junior Season, look for VPI to dominate the Conference and probably be the only ACC team to reach the top 5 all year.

(2) Georgia Tech

I don't care who you are or where you come from, you have got to love the Ramblin' Wreck.

Junior RB Jonathan Dwyer leads the Yellow Jackets. The reigning ACC Player of the Year, Dwyer put up 1,395 yards in 2008. Having Dwyer in the backfield makes GT a dangerous option threat, which is exactly how Head Coach Paul Johnson likes it. But the conventional wisdom says that the rest of the league will be on to Johnson, now that he's in his 2nd campaign. But feast your eyes on this stat: 37 of the Jackets' 40 touchdowns last year were scored by freshmen or sophomores. That's a powerful load of offense returning. Expect some big things out of Atlanta this fall.

(3) North Carolina

"Carolina is going to represent, ya heard? BOO YAH!"

Confession: I made a wager on Chapel Hill to make the top 5 in any poll in either the 2009 or 2010 seasons. The stakes? $100. Hopefully the guy has forgotten about it, but I doubt it.

Was this a smart bet? Probably not. But can somebody explain to me why UNC can't be a national power in football? They compete at the national level in every other sport. They have a beautiful stadium. And they have purported super-coach Butch Davis at the helm. So maybe I'll win my bet after all. But probably not. Because in Chapel Hill Butch will always play second fiddle to Roy.

(4) Miami

How the mighty have fallen. Earlier this decade Miami had re-established itself as THE program in college football. Now they’re struggling to be mediocre in a slightly above average conference. My theory is that they put in a metal detector. The word on the U is that with new coordinators on both sides of the ball Head Coach Randy Shannon's squad will be more up to the task than the last two years. Still, something tells me the most exciting thing to happen on Saturdays at Landshark Stadium this fall could be a spirited rendition of "Fins."

(5) Virginia

Ehhhhhhh. That about sums up the Al Groh era at Mr. Jefferson's University. Usually when a school hires an alum with NFL coaching experience on his resume, they expect greatness. With the exception of Chris Long's stellar career, it hasn't panned out that way in Groh's 8 years at the helm (has anyone seen him and Charlie Weis in the same place at the same time? Those last two sentences could apply in South Bend just as easily). The 'Hoos offense was 114th last year in PPG (16.1) - in case you were wondering, there are only 120 teams in the "Football Bowl Subdivision." So that's not good. And it doesn't look like the offense will improve much. Who's their best returning wideout? That'd be sophomore Jared Green, who had 12 catches for 144y last year. Good grief.

As a UVa fan since I was born within a quarter-mile of the Rotunda, I'd settle for a win against Virginia Tech. They were close last year, only falling by 3 in Blacksburg to a squad hell-bent on going to the BCS. But there's little to suggest that this year will be any different. The sad truth of the matter may be that it's just too hard to get 100 great football players in the school. Come to think of it, that's a nice transition to...

(6) Duke

I really don't have the energy to learn anything about this team. You know and I know that they're going to suck. If you need an interesting fact for your water cooler discussions, here's one: They hosted the Rose Bowl immediately after Pearl Harbor. So they've got that going for them. Which is nice.

Champs: Virginia Tech