Dreams and a Better Reality

Every couple of months or so, usually when a friend of ours breaks up with a girlfriend/fiance/mistress, the guys in my pledge class bring up our dream vacation: to rent out a fraternity house for a month. It would be a dream for all of us, representing the chance to relive our sophomore year of college with (marginally at best) better game, more income, and complete disregard for social standing since we aren't really students.

Normally, the fantasy centers on renting our old fraternity house to fully re-create the experience. Lately, we have also thought about making this dream even more fantastic. Instead of going back to our small, liberal arts college that we already know is filled with girls too smart to fall for our awful lines like "want to see my DVD collection?," why not rent a place at one of the more notorious party schools? I love my alma mater, but if I'm truly going to try and make my life like the movie "Old School" on this trip, why not do it at Arizona or Florida State? I love classy women, but let's be honest, the whole point of the fantasy is I can become friends with a guy like Blue and see that even he gets laid. We want skanky women. Like, really skanky. Not Christina Aguilera skanky, I mean like one bad semester in sociology away from porn skanky. So better cross off those two schools, and just go straight to Arizona Sate.

Why do I bring this up? Simple, it's a great dream. It would be an amazing month. But I'm also realistic, career driven, and 26 years old. It won't happen. Even if it did happen, I'm willing to bet all those 19 year old coeds wouldn't be impressed that we quit our jobs and blew our savings on one month in academic Gomorrah. More likely, they'd say, "Get away from me, perv, I'm only into sweet guys that have classy barb wire tatoos and wear Affliction shirts. PS- you're old and gross. OMG LOL LMAO!" Oh well, screw her. None of us wanted chlamydia anyway.

The sportswriters, bloggers, and casual football fans that talk about a "playoff" every year need to talk a look at what I've written, because my month as a Frat Guy is eerily similar to the dream of a college football playoff. First of all, it won't happen. There's too much money out there in the bowl system so a playoff won't make fiscal sense (And if you think it does, fine, show me the TV network willing to cut the BCS a check for $800 million to have a playoff. That's what the current Rose Bowl deal is ($300 mil) and the new BCS deal ($500 mil) is worth. Yeah, not seeing a lot of hands going up to top that number). Even if it did happen, like my dream, it probably won't work out the way you want it to. You'll have crappy teams that aren't intriguing in the National Title game, like George Mason in the Final Four. Oh yeah, what a great story, George Mason was awesome, which is why the ratings actually went down for the Final Four that year.

So, with that being said, I think the BCS does need some changes to enhance the sport. In my opinion, here are four changes that would make the BCS and college football better.

1. Stop Counting of 1-AA Games-- This is one of the most infuriating parts of college football. I hate watching Ohio State play Youngstown State, Florida play the Citadel, or Georgia playing Georgia State. They are stupid. Yes, App State once beat Michigan. That's one win in what, 1,000 games? It's ridiculous that the BCS counts these games, especially late in the season. What they should tell teams is that you are more than welcome to play these teams, but they will not factor into their rankings. Florida went 12-1 this year, but it would only count as 11-1 due to their win against The Citadel (Apparently, VMI was previously scheduled and unwilling to fly out of the Roanoke Airport). It would make the schedules better and enhance the competitiveness of the sport week to week.

2. Mandate Legitimate Match Ups-- Speaking of scheduling, let's take this one step further. I would love to see the BCS require every team in the BCS conferences to schedule one opponent from another BCS conference. Too many coaches take cupcake non-conference games to get bowl eligible-- I'm looking you as an alum, Indiana. Think how much attention the USC-Ohio State and Texas-Ohio State games in recent years have drawn. These games are awesome to watch early on and get people into the season from the start. They will also make the bowls better, since bowl managers will have a better idea of how the conferences stack up and they can choose better match ups. A lot of schools like USC, Ohio State, Texas, and Michigan do this already, but let's get every school on board.

Quick caveat: Notre Dame would count as a BCS game for teams like Michigan State, Michigan, and USC that play them every year.

3. Standardize the Conference Championship Game-- This whole idea that three conferences play one extra game, while the other three do not is stupid. Either all 6 BCS conferences should play the 13th game, or no one should. It's unfair that the Big 12, SEC, and perhaps someday the ACC, have to win an extra game to qualify for the National Title game. Likewise, since the NCAA restricts the number of practices a team can have between the end of the season and the bowl, it's unfair for teams in the Big 10 to have to wait an extra two weeks for their bowl to start each year. If everyone plays the same number of games and ends the same weekend, it will again generate more interest in the sport at the end of the year and make the bowl games more competitive.

I'm interested to hear what tweaks to the system you all would like to see. If you want to turn this into a playoff debate, that's fine, but you might as well argue which Hollywood star you like to have sex with more. I'm not going to judge your fantasies