Palm trees, cotton fields, a toothless albeit well-armed population, lots of Jesus. We've all heard the stereotypes, but what is the South really? I'll give you the palm trees and the cotton fields........and the guns (myself included). The region has become the saviour of the American Auto Industry (or at least foreign cars built by Americans), the bastion of obesity, and the poster region of College Football. Many outside the south love to badmouth the SEC, but you must admit, we do deliver season in and out. The solid, well-funded and (for the most part) well-coached teams coupled with the intense intra-conference rivalries among the teams always produce great games, high attrition, and usually ensure that the top SEC contender for the national title has at least one loss, as it should be.
What will the SEC deliver this year? A lot of the usual. New Blood (a fresh Alabama QB with a veteran Offense to help him and a solid D to back him up). Old Blood (that Florida QB who scares secondaries and foreskins alike). New coach dynamics (who's coaching Auburn these days? Chjhhiuizzckkk? ). Plus a much more even field. All the teams across the NCAA are increasing in talent, evening the playing field, providing more exciting TV and pissing off Tony Kornheiser. That being said, the SEC isn't exactly what it was over the past several seasons, but it's always a force to be reckoned with. All in all though we'll have great fooball to watch and surely some humor to go along with it. How can you not with Vern Lundquist at the helm of the spotlight SEC games. I definitely know that I can't wait for the season to start.
SEC EAST
Florida (1)
Unfortunately being a slave to proceeding alphabetically forces me to place Florida with the number one spot on the list. So, have you heard about this quarterback at Florida named Tim something or other? I understand all SEC coaches are now considering the circumcision as the ulitmate dexterity training tool to provide their quarterbacks just that extra bit of finesse and twirl to their spiral grips. The latest rage: in a recent interview Tebow announced that he's saving little Tebow for marriage. Isn't that nice? Amazing quarterback, amazing athelete, humanitarian, virgin, accomplished moyel. Stay tuned for the passing of the Holy Kidney Stone. The end of the road for him will probably be either the Presidency or the release on youtube of a video of him uncontrollably filling a hot tub with loose stool, a la season 5 of Nip/Tuck.
But I digress. Florida was ranked as the pre-season #1 by everyone except Steve Spurrier, but that's just because he had his Athletic Director vote for him. What does this mean? Barring an asteroid collision or Obama suspending college football until Congress passes his healthcare bill you can probably hold your surprise if you see the Gators in the Georgia Dome at the end of the season and most likely with a chance to defend their national title. Their offense speaks for themselves and they have a 2-deep corp of veterans returning on D. Their season is a joke, opening with the Pay-Per-View destined one-two punch of Charleston Southern and Troy (at least we don't have to watch them play until Sept. 19 when they take on Tennessee). Unless we have a surprise upset like my favorite Ole Miss game ever last year, don't expect Tebow to be crying in any more sideline clips or press conferences, Georgia and Florida State offer up the only real statistical competition this season.
Georgia (16)
Should Stafford have gone to the Lions? Who knows, at least we have a Georgia QB with a last name that no one could possibly ever make a joke about............Cox. Georgia's got a must-see opener against Oklahoma State which will help most of America decide if Cox's limited playing time last year helped at all and will set the pace for the rest of the season. Mark Richt has announced that he'll be giving a lot of his freshmen playing time. We'll eventually find out if this speaks from confidence or desperation. Their front line's a little uncertain, but they've got a good D Line and watch sophomore running back Caleb King to be the workhorse of the O.
Their season's a lot tougher than Florida's, so attrition could potentially take a toll on the Bulldogs this season. It'll definitely be interesting for those of you who are excited to see lots of Cox between the hedges.
Kentucky
I just finished my first year of living in Louisville and it's been entertaining to say the least. First of all UK and LVille fans hate each other, but a respectable hate. Nothing like Alabama - Auburn where civil arguments can end up looking like the first half hour of Saving Private Ryan. The most amusing aspect though is all the talk that takes place the first two weeks of the season, when talk is then promptly shifted to basketball (the big football news around here is that UK and Western Kentucky Univ just signed a 4 year series deal.............need I say more) Interestingly, I see a lot more NFL fans than NCAA football fans around here, which is the exact opposite to my former haunts in Tennessee.
The Cats have a brutal schedule. Games 2 - 6 are LVille, Florida, Alabama, S. Car, and Auburn and they wrap the season playing Georgia and Tennessee. (No Western Kentucky this year, Eastern Kentucky Nov. 7, mark your calendars). They will field 11 men on both Offense and Defense.
South Carolina
Oh Spurrier, how could you leave something as important as selecting the All-SEC team to your AD? How dare you prevent Tebow from getting his unanimous election!! You're lucky that visor already covers your circumcision scar.
The Cocks..everyone's favorite mascot, ended with disapponting loss to Iowa in the Outback Bowl last season. Is there hope for Spurrier this season now that the bad odor of Chris Smelley is gone? He's sending in his sophomore Garcia who did a great job sending in signals last year. Even though "stop when police say stop" isn't in his playbook, there are a lot of eyes turning to him in the hopes he can make USC a contender in the east. A packed schedule and a still shakey offense will help decide. Oh yeah, he'll also need to stay sober and out of jail.I think this season will help improve things for the Gamecocks, but there will most likely be lots of head-set throwings by the visored one.
Tennessee
UT has one of the bigger storylines this off-season. Can Lane Kiffin turn things around after the Fulmer Dynasty has come to an end? He's off to a great stop with several near-misses involving SEC rules and recruiting violations. Nevertheless, they did end up recruiting this year's top-rated prospect and the buzz is working its way around Knoxville with hope that "Rocky Top" will mean something again.
High expectations are obvious as UT went bowlless last season for only the second time since 1990. Their opening SEC matchup comes with Florida. It'll be interesting, Kiffin's definitely the pledge in the SEC coachs' fraternity so he'll need a big win to get any props. They've got a balanced, but tough schedule, so it's going to be up to the veterans to step up. UT is still deep within its recruiting, so it seems that the focus is more on the future rather than this season. You can always feel safe in the hands of a Raiders coach.
Vanderbilt
Their first bowl visit since 1982, the year of my birth, and a win over a Flutie-less Boston College. How about that? They'd be on their way to a conference championship if they weren't still Vandy. Historically the other bitch of the East next to Kentucky, Vandy was aided last year by a falling Vols program.
"It (respect) comes with that. You know, if we continue to get better, I think people will know that we're just not an automatic win any more and we can be considered a contender for a championship if we continue to improve." How can such stirring words from your coach not make you feel confident in your abilities as a football player?
"We expect to compete for championships. To tell you the truth, we weren't really that far from it last year. We were third in the East, fifth overall. We think that's great progress for us."
SEC WEST
SEC WEST
Alabama (4)
Roll Tide! Ok, now that I've said that relax. I'm a Crimson Tide fan, but i'm not one of the fanatics who thinks that the spirit of Bear Bryant guides the hands of all our players and coaches and that we're destined for the national championship every season, but I still love to see my team do well. Did you know that Alabama has 12 National Championships (half came from Bear Bryant). He would have 7 if not for that ugly scene involving the governor and federal troops.
An undefeated regular season left high expectations for Saban this season. Expectations left even higher after losses to Florida in the SEC Championship and Utah in the Sugar Bowl. The Offense will miss John Parker Wilson, who left with just about every QB record available, but it was time for some new blood in the QB slot anyway. The big question is whether junior Greg McElroy is the man for the job. Die Hard fans will tell you that he had a great showing in the A-Day Game this past spring, but that doesn't mean anything until he dresses against a contending team that is not the 2008 Auburn Tigers (War Eagle!). McElroy will get help from his phenom receiver Julio Jones and from his veteran line, but does the veteran factor count without Andre Smith?
Be sure to catch the season opener against Virginia Tech in the Georgia Dome. The defense will be solid as always with Mt. Cody plugging things upfront and a great secondary in the back. I think the Tide's got their work cut out for them, but with their existing talent and a favorable schedule, they've got a great chance to take the West again and meet Florida in Atlanta for a rematch. With the number 1 recruiting class this season, they'll be great to watch for the next several seasons as well. Roll Tide Roll!!
Arkansas
Oh the Nutt-less Razorbacks. A rough middle of the season is going to be hard on Arkansas this year while they continue re-building. It's bad when the only real news about your team in the past few weeks is a DUI arrest. I don't think anyone's really expecting much out of the Hogs this year, but they're always good for a surprise and could end up giving someone a speed bump this year.
Auburn
I remember frantically switching between AM stations trying to stay tuned into the Iron Bowl while driving home from Thanksgiving last year. If there's anyway to break a long losing streak it's by a bitch-slapping shutout on your home field. A lot is expected of Auburn this year, but will the new coaching staff be able to deliver. After the 5-7 season and the Tuberville debacle, Auburn is sort of in limbo these days. They've got the desire and the talent to return to their place as a perennial contender, but how many seasons will it take? I think their first loss will tell the tale. Will the team and their loyal fan base be able to bounce back or will they think it's a repeat of last season? Their initial hurdles of Mississippi State and West Virginia (23) will help paint the picture.
Auburn Sucks
LSU
My girlfriend is from Baton Rouge (Texas fan). Man did I make a mistake wearing my Alabama hat going down there to visit her once in the fall of '07. i didn't think I was going to make it out of the airport alive or without gumbo shoved up my backside.
Ok, Saban beat them on their home ground in a great game. Can we put this media angle to bed now? Thanks. Everyone's looking for LSU to improve upon their somewhat disappointing season last year. A lot will depend on how their QB's have improved, as it was their biggest sore spot last season. A new D-coordinator may give SEC offenses something new to deal with, but I think it may be a Jeff Fisher defensive year for LSU, "bend but don't break". I think we can count on the Tigers to come to the field with a lot of energy and 4-quarter intensity as they have in the past, but making it work may be too much to improve this year. Especially with Alabama and Ole Miss being as tough as they are. Their season lineup should help them out though, as long as they can avoid injuries and imprisoned players.
Miss. State
Everyone loves an underdog. I can't help but watch MSU play and want them to win each time. They're usually good for one upset a season and personally I would love to see that come against Florida. A man can dream. Dan Mullen was Urban Meyer's O-Coordinator once upon a time, hope he has some tricks up his sleeve. The Bulldogs have often been a game of drives. One drive they'll look like a well-oiled bowl bound machine. The next drive will be something out of Little Giants, complete with the Annexation of Puerto Rico.
There are no real names coming out of their roster (2 players on the All-SEC team, both second team). It worked for the Titans last year, could it work for the Bulldogs??
Ole Miss (20)
Had the Rebels been 9-4 since the Jackson administration??
The Nutt-bags are the team everyone's anxious to see this year. They did the impossible and beat Florida by stopping Tim Tebow, can they do it again? Florida wants to swat that monkey off their shoulders for sure, but the Rebels want to back up their Fredericksburg with a Chancellorsville (had to throw in a historical reference somewhere). The only thing that would make that possibility more interesting would be if they actually got to play each other this season. Instead, Mississippi has one of the easier schedules which gives them a great chance to give Alabama a run for their money in the West.
Nutt has brough much needed pride and discipline to Ole Miss and has given them the best chance for their first-ever visit to Atlanta. The only real weakness is a lack of depth which will require freshmen to be utilized, but that's nothing new with Ole Miss's program.
I have a funny feeling we'll be seeing Florida and Alabama for a rematch this year in Atlanta. I don't think anything's standing in Florida's way (except God, I hope I pray). Alabama is going to have to want it more than Ole Miss and LSU. Either way, i'm afraid we haven't heard the last of Tim Tebow. Too bad the Lions aren't hiring anymore.
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