A Six Pack of Smooth, Genuine Draft

I am a high school teacher, and as a model of proper behavior for both male and female students, I pride myself on my ability to evaluate people based on their personality and worth as people, not simply their physical characteristics. This does not just apply to the work place, but also to my everyday life. I do not judge people based on their bodies.

So thank god for the NFL Draft. For what is normally three months every year, but thanks to ESPN has grown to 12 months a year, we can be as vain as we want. Mel Kiper, Todd McShay, and the entire group at Scouts, Inc, all make it OK to judge people based on their height, weight, arm strength, and speed. I mean, c'mon, they even take an IQ test for us to ridicule for the rest of time (ain't that right, Vince, with that awesome 7 Wonderlic score). For you college students getting ready to enter the workforce, this in an important lesson: tell a female co-worker that she looks top-heavy and you'll get fired, call an NFL draft prospect top heavy and you'll avoid drafting Courtney Brown and his chronically bad knees #1 overall.

So, as we approach the draft, here are my first round guaranteed success stories:

1. Michael Crabtree: His career stats at Texas Tech: 231 receptions, 3,127 yards, 13.5 YPC, and 41 TDs. 2 time All-America All-America and 2 time Biletnikoff Award winner. Hands down, the best player in the draft. We are not only saying that because he was our pick for the Heisman this year, but because he runs great routes and will play through injuries (like he did with his sprained ankle and broken foot this year-- and still had 1,000 receiving yards). He's a shorter Larry Fitzgerald, which means he'll be less of a deep threat since he can't jump over DBs as well, but will be an immediate contributer on any team as their Y receiver.



2. Knowshon Moreno: He ran 250 times for 1400 yards and 16 TDs this past year. He also isn't a one year wonder, as he averaged 5.4 and 5.6 yards per carry the past two years. He had long runs of 68 and 52 yards this year, so he's a deep threat, and can also catch the ball well out of the backfield. He's a stud, and the best RB prospect in the draft by far. While you can question whether or not any running back is worth a first round pick, you can't question that he's going to be productive for whatever team is lucky enough to take him.


3. Aaron Curry: This linebacker is by far the best defensive prospect in the draft. At 6'1" 250 lbs he has the size to play either middle linebacker in a 4-3 or inside linebacker in a 3-4. The knock on him is that he only had 1 sack all of last year, but with 4.5 forty speed he has more than enough wheels to get to the QB (people like Peter King seem to forget that since he's an MLB, other players will be creating gaps for him to blitz through, no fighting through tacklers). Personally, I'm not sure that any MLB is worth top 10 money in the league, but I think he's a sure fire pick to be at least a consistent starter in the league for 6 plus years.

4. Hakeem Nicks: He's very similar in size and stats to Crabtree. He is 6'1", 215 lbs at his playing weight, and last year caught 68 passes for 1,222 yards (18 YPC) and a school record 12 TD passes. He also had the most ridiculous catch of the year, so you know he has great hands. The knock on him is that he's had trouble keeping his weight down this off season, which while it seems like a minor thing to you and me, that is the equivalent of you showing up hungover as shit for your own job interview. Doesn't mean you won't be good at your job, but it definitely raises some questions. There is a bit of Mike Williams to him, but I think he's going to make it and will turn out to be a steal in the mid-20s in the first round.

5. Rey Maualuga: This ILB stud was the lynchpin of USC stellar defenses the past two seasons. He's worked under Pete Carroll, so you know he understands how to make calls in a NFL-type defense. He doesn't have blazing speed, but if you pop in any big game for the past two years (2 Rose Bowls, the Ohio State game), and you'll see a guy who is a game changer. He will be Lofa Tatupu in his ability to instantly start and generate turnovers in the passing game at the NFL level.

6. Clay Matthews III: Since he's finally put that story of a positive test for steroids behind him, as well as his bizarre decision to start a Facebook group called "White Power," he can now go about becoming a stud in the NFL. He was a walk on at USC that turned out to be a great DE/LB in their 3-4/4-3 hybrid scheme. He's probably a weak side LB in a 4-3, but he'll be a great addition to any team. Also, his Dad was my hero when eh played for the Browns and I'm amazed that he rocks the same locks as his Dad in the 80s.